How to check if the other person is available for you:

  • “I could really use a listening ear right now. Would you mind just being there for me?”
  • “I’m feeling a bit down/anxious/overwhelmed right now. Sometimes, I just need a hug. Would you be willing to give me a hug right now?
  • “I’ve found that talking about my feelings helps me feel better. Are you available for a conversation about what’s been on my mind?

 

Action Step

Before moving on to the next module in the coming week or two, choose one or two people you trust and feel comfortable with. Begin with someone you feel safest with, and choose something low-risk to express to them. Don’t dwell too much on it, as trying something new is bound to feel uncomfortable. Remember, discomfort doesn’t indicate wrongdoing or mistakes; it’s simply a natural part of stepping into the unknown.

 

  • What do you most want this person to know about you?
  • To create the right conditions for this conversation, pick somewhere you both feel comfortable and at ease. E.g on a county walk, sat on the sofa together, when you’re driving somewhere.
  • Use some of the phrases from this module, or write your own that best meet your needs, and ask start by checking out if they’re available for what you need.
  • Let them know how they can help you.
  • Then speak honestly and let yourself say as much as you can.
  • Allow yourself to be cared for and looked after in this moment, remembering that:
    • this vulnerability is a sign of your strength and courage,
    • you are creating an opportunity for the other person to feel useful and to feel close to you,
    • you are worthy and of value.
  • Finish the conversation by letting them know what this means to you and offer your appreciation for the care offered. In this moment you are translating your inside to your outside and cementing the closeness with them.