Nurturing a connection and relationship with this part of you, your ideal parent or inner wisdom, is an ongoing process and will enable you to draw on this part of you most effectively when you need to. Like any relationship, spending time to connect, listen and communicate is where closeness will develop. To foster this depth of connection we will begin with some therapeutic letter writing. Letter writing provides a safe space to express unspoken emotions and desires and offers the opportunity to gain insights into unmet needs and cultivate compassion and understanding for yourself. Addressing your inner parent directly, can enable healing and integration of this part of you, ultimately nurturing a more supportive and nurturing inner dialogue.

  1. Set the intention for your letter: to hear the loving voice of your inner parent to receive help or instructions with a particular problem or some distressing emotions.
  2. Create a Safe Space: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can focus without distractions. You may want to light a candle, play calming music, or engage in a grounding exercise to create a sense of safety and relaxation.
  3. Start by addressing the letter to the part of yourself that is most in need of the support and care. This may be a part of you that feels vulnerable and anxious, a younger part or inner child. You may address this part using your childhood nickname or a phrase that connects with this small part of you.


The next Steps are offered as suggested guidance if it’s helpful, but you are welcome to write freely and really express yourself as you want, ensuring that you are speaking from your ideal parent and source of inner wisdom.

  1. Empathy: as you write from this loving parent or inner wisdom, begin by noticing the feelings of this young, vulnerable part and acknowledge any pain, suffering, or challenges that your inner child may have experienced. Validate their feelings and experiences, and offer empathy and understanding for the struggles they have endured.
  2. Express unconditional love and support: Reassure this smaller, vulnerable you, that they are worthy of love and belonging, and that you, as the parent, are here to provide comfort, guidance, and protection. Describe
  3. Validate the emotions and needs: explicitly acknowledging that the emotions and needs of this vulnerable part of you, are valid and deserving of attention. Encourage them to express themselves openly and honestly, and assure them that their feelings matter.
  4. Reassure and encourage: Offer reassurance and encouragement by reminding them of their inherent worth and resilience, and affirm their capacity to overcome challenges and thrive in life.
  5. Provide Guidance and Wisdom: Provide Guidance and Wisdom drawing on your own experiences and insights as the inner parent. Share words of wisdom and encouragement to help them navigate difficult situations and make empowered choices.
  6. Encourage Healing: Encourage self-compassion and healing by offering suggestions and directions of healing actions that will nurture your well-being.
  7. Forgiveness and acceptance: Express forgiveness and acceptance of any shortcomings, letting go of judgment and criticism and affirming your unconditional love and acceptance of who you are.
  8. End with love and gratitude: Close the letter with love and gratitude, thanking yourself for your resilience, courage, and strength. Affirm your commitment as a loving parent and source of inner wisdom that you are always there to support and nurture your inner child.


This can be a moving process so take some time to reflect on how it felt as you heard the voice of this part of you and how you are feelings now. Allow yourself to sit with these feelings, just taking stock anything you learnt or noticed and the emotions it may have evoked for you.


Writing a therapeutic letter from your inner parent and inner wisdom to yourself can be a powerful tool for fostering self-compassion, healing, and inner growth. Allow yourself to engage in this process with an open heart and mind, and trust that it can help facilitate positive change and transformation in your relationship with yourself. I recommend keeping this as a tool you can turn to on a regular basis to reconnect with yourself and return to a feeling of safety when life feels difficult or overwhelming.